Usually I'm above this, but...

just to vent. I don't do this very often (ha!) but I feel like I will be eaten from the inside out with frustration if I don't write this down.

Of all character flaws, these are my least favorite:

-passive-aggressiveness
-neediness
-disloyalty

Guess who?
I can't wait to get out of here.
Please, please, please get me out of here.

Sounds like a wonderful litany to play on loop in my head. My little prayer to myself.

Dans le style d'un...

Shopping Blog

I originally had planned to check out a farmers' market in West Windsor this afternoon, but when I drove past the site (near the Princeton Junction station), all I saw was one lone tent and a couple of vendor trucks pulling out. I'm thinking it was due to the rainy bluster of the weather.

Rather than slink back home and torturously develop another plan for the day, I decided to head north to Menlo Park Mall. There's been so much hype around the Uniqlo flagship store opening in Soho this week; I wanted to finally leverage my Jersey-ness by re-visiting the Uniqlo in Edison. So, how did it go?

Well, I walked into Nordstrom, which was holding a beauty event. I can't resist any opportunity to have people use me as a canvas, so I wended my way through the different cosmetic counters. At first, I was thinking, Chanel. My rationale: I wanted to have really expensive products available to be applied to my face! Then again, with the expectation that I'd actually have to buy a couple of things, it would be ... Cutting off my nose to spite my face? Six of one, half dozen of the other?

Unfortunately, this reasoning only occurred to me after I'd actually clambered into the chair with the Chanel artist. When I saw Laura Mercier products at the station to the left, I decided that it would be worth seeming like a rude weirdo to switch. I couldn't quell my inner voice telling me: Laura Mercier = fresh-faced and luminous, Chanel = French sophisticate a la Carine Roitfield.

Not that I would mind looking like Carine, but I just thought I'd be able to get away with the former far easier than the latter. Somewhat timidly, I asked the Chanel artist whether she would mind if I got my makeup done "next door" instead, explaining that I already use Laura Mercier products (not a lie!) The Chanel artist was really gracious and not awkward-making about it and said, "We want you to be happy!" Clearly, I should've gotten in touch with this lady a long time ago.

So, Laura Mercier. I'll start with what I ended up buying, because I'm pretty excited about it.

This eye palette:


And this cream.


As for the experience - it was kind of hilarious because the artist that was doing my face was a spaz. She kept misplacing brushes, didn't know what any of the products cost, and actually made my eyes tear (reminiscent of the time at Douglas when a well-intentioned Origins lady got that absurd mint gel in Lisa's eyes) as she tried to line the "membrane" of my eyelids with a brush.

Okay. I'll allow that it must be extremely difficult to do such a thing to someone else, but please - don't keep insist on CONTINUING when your client/victim has tears running down her "flawless skin". And don't say that you're applying makeup to a "membrane". It sounds like a hygiene "don't" at best. Although of course it looks wonderful. I do it every day :^) I'm just thinking "inner eyelid", not "membrane", when I do it.

She did a nice job, though! In the end, my eye makeup looked intense, very "let's create some dramatic violet-hued depth to your eye socket where it doesn't exist". This effect was somewhat obscured by my wearing glasses, but overall, I thought I looked very "made up" in an amusingly mature and worldly way (read: not so much fresh-faced or luminous). Well, I was really excited by all the dabbing and brushing that she did with my eyes - hence buying the eye palette. I'll try to reproduce the look on Monday. Ooh, already super excited!

And I know that my skin will be flaky and parched in a few weeks, so I sprang for the face cream. I'm not that happy in retrospect to have paid so much for it, especially as I remembered later that I've been wanting to try something more drugstore. I might pick some cheapie stuff up tomorrow and experiment using both products. I will use each product on each half of my face for a week and if you see me, you can let me know what you think. If only it could be a double-blind! Speaking of price, I should mention that I got some "deluxe" samples: a moisture mask, a compact powder foundation, and an eye shimmer cream in a little brown nylon pouch. Samples always weaken the blow...

I am pretty mentally exhausted right now, so I'll just quickly enlist the other spoils of my day:

The wool "Charlie" coat at J. Crew. Unbelievably cute.
Clothes from J. Crew consistently fit me wonderfully, which is more than I can say about any other store. (Hear that, Banana Republic? Whatever, you suck anyway.) Anyway, the reason I've been obsessed with this coat ever since I tried it on last weekend in New York?

Proportion. And I don't mean in the manner of recent fashion parlance, where 'proportion' usually refers to a witty play with volume. I really just mean how much proportion matters in the fit and flattery of a garment.

Three-quarter sleeves and rather short length (to say nothing of the nautical double-breastedness and Peter Pan collar) made this coat look great on me because I'm petite (an unwilling petite, because I hate the word 'petite' and all its pert Asian yuppie connotations).


I almost forgot a real piece of news! J. Crew has started a rewards program! I found this out because I applied for a J. Crew credit card to get a 10% discount on the coat. The saleswoman told me that for each $500 you spend, you'll receive $25 in rewards! Pretty great! Intrigued, I checked J. Crew's site and it's true, true, true. I didn't need motivation to spend any more money at J. Crew, especially at the sales and outlets, but I guess I just got some :^)

Uniqlo? They were having a 20% off anniversary sale, so I decided to be a trendster and bought another pair of really cheapie dark denim skinny jeans. I wasn't overwhelmed by the rest of the merchandise at the store, though of course I'm eagerly anticipating what's to come next spring with its collections by Philip Lim and the like.

I'm tired and it's time to finally wash this violet-hued drama from my eyes. Night!

Cliche

Of course the laziness of cliche.

How about the romance of driving late at night? What's that Magnetic Fields album called again?

Driving late at night recently, I worry about how long it would take the proper authorities to find me if I hydroplaned off the road or somehow flipped over the median. The roads are really so deserted. But only if, say, I'm not thrilling to the reckless handling of my Accord. And marvelling at how wonderful WPRB can be. Or WXPN. Or Hot 97. And how no one can worry for me as the wind tries to blow me off the road.

Cars really do come to resemble their owners! If you see my car you'll know what I mean.

Things change so quickly. Like how Natasha from Sex and ze City is now the cuckqueaned (oh god, I'm so so serious or at least James Joyce is) wife on Six Degrees of Separation.

Brushes with Greatness

Reading Sartorialist mostly satisfies any tendency that I have to be a celeb gawker - for me, it's all really about the fashion, unless you're talking about any real faves like Maggie G. Anyway, this weekend was probably as close as I've ever gotten to meeting or seeing famous people in the flesh. Definitely not referring to A-list celebs except perhaps in the NYTimes book review sense.

I was immersed in a warm water bath of cultural consumerism all weekend, which is so sweet because it really didn't leave any time for anything like shopping. No joke! Oh, and and also an opportunity to feel inspired and relieved about the act of artistic creation. I love that one of the recurring themes of the New Yorker events was the difficulty of realizing a Platonic ideal of creation that initially drives you to want to write. To think about the book that you yourself most want to read, and then to write it!

I don't think of myself as being unusually naive. Maybe I am. Or maybe I have a capacity to conceive of illimitable tragedy while still expecting a continuation of the happy status quo. But I don't think that's just me.

When I was younger, what I felt most often was boredom. These days, though, what I feel is impatience. To take things seriously and to make them better. To think about some life that I myself might want to see lived, and then to live it!

If I am guilty of solipsism
(and who isn't), (and I am),
this is the nature of it:
I've always assumed that you could understand exactly what I was saying,
Even as I said something else.

Before driving back home tonight
(the cold nights of fall in the Northeast),
I cleared the fogged windshield using my old car's wipers,
not bothering with the rear,
just driving through the dark on deserted roads.
Looking ahead.

When I said,
"I want to start playing the piano again",
maybe I meant "I'm sick of growing up".

Was "I can't see this going anywhere" really
"I wish you could fix this relationship"?

"I like those shoes",
"but not your face" "(or anything else about you, I guess)".

Didn't you hear the echoes?

Ate at Cho Dang Gol and went to see the Philharmonic with Manoj and Kenny today - Shosty! I was excited to see Lynn Harrell, but to be honest I found his performance a little bloodless. Perfunctory?

Then ran into Marissa and Zach on the train home. It's always nice to share that special trip with friends!