lost my iPod music. AGAIN!

it's not even the kind of thing i could do twice. because i remember how mad i was the first time i did it! now i have to go home and reload it.

like i need my car, and my bike, and my cell phone charms, and my voided checks.

[sigh]...

back in NY

so i just came back from my 12 day orientation for work. i was pretty noncommunicative with non-work people throughout, so this (this!) is literally my first contact with people since getting back.

i was so scared to even go, which is good to remember. and of course i had a great time and met wonderful and goofy people. there were obviously a few "big" nights where my major weakness (alcohol + top 40 music) undid me a little bit.

highlights? chronological account? i wish i could arrange my data in the best way possible! but i can't.

but, like, we played whirlyball, which is basically nothing more complex than lacrosse * bumper cars yet so fun (and for those of you who know me, i don't really like fun, so it was pretty fun!!) i definitely ate at the cheesecake factory three times in 12 days, which kind of blows my mind in ways i can't define. the actual training part of training wasn't too bad, although i am kind of paralyzed with fear thinking about starting on monday. oh, and there were a lot of snacks, so i gained a lot of weight. i pretty much just disgust myself right now. wooo!!

there were days that we never went outside, so it was pretty glorious when we finally got out on the weekend and explored downtown chicago. i met dave chang! he is just as cute and charming as ever. (holla!) as is my brother (holla x2!) who is now considering opthalmology. oh, and we saw the second city comedy show, red scare, which was hilarious too. maybe i don't hate fun! hmmmm.

slow elevators, going shopping with the europeans, learning LOTS of fun proprietary software, who knows. lots of strange dreams, which is something i relish about sleeping in a new environment. stuff involving, for example, maggie gyllenhaal as a martyred william wallace-ish character, my mom getting cancer and the entire faculty of haeseong high coming to the U.S. to give their condolences (and me hiding from them).

so this now is my last weekend before i officially start working. i'm really excited about everything and i hope i will be in 6 months too!

finally! photo albums!

teehee. so my brother came back from korea together and THANK the lawd that we had similar rxns to it. so if all this selfishness and resistance to change is something i am guilty of (boy have the accusations been flying about lately) at least it runs in the family.

one great thing about chris is that he is great and picked me up the photo albums from muji that i wanted. the really simple ones that are just like a clear binder...whose slots aren't quite big enough to fit my pictures so they kinda go wavy?

my writing is going alllll to hell.

but anyway, it's one of those nights where i am looking over pictures, and that is good!

blink blank blonk blunk blynk

i got a NYPL library card a couple of days ago, thanks to finally having had something delivered to me here in NY (my cute little radio/iPod speakers) so i had a proof of residence or whatever you say.

so i got out a few books, one of which was blink.

if you know me pretty well, you probably know also that i fancy myself to be psychic. honestly! it just happened the other day, when someone was telling me about a good book they'd read and it turned out to be the kite runner. but i knew even before she told me anything about the book that that was what she meant.

anyway, the upshot of my having read the book is that i realized that maybe i'm not psychic, but that i pay very close attention to my subconscious. which makes sense, since i don't seem to pay close attention to my consciousconscious. right? and i love that people actually develop this awareness of their subconscious with the view of becoming "mindreaders."

recently i've been occupied with questions of taste and permanence. it's hard to decide what attracts me more: disrespecting things by accumulating them or by letting them go.

i was thinking after having seen the constant gardener that it was weird that ralph fiennes and rachel weisz were also in schindler's list together, but i just looked it up and it was actually embeth davidtz i was thinking of (who i now learn was the stick insect in bridget jones!). but they were in sunshine together! which i haven't watched. umm, anyway...yay, imdb.

schedules

i just came back from the rehearsal dinner for lisa's wedding tomorrow! it was delicious and filling, which is not necessarily so good because after breaking my diet (HARD) with lisa b last weekend with the margaritas and midnight pizzas and such, i feel disgusting again. i went for a swim this morning, which made me feel better for like 15 minutes. but that was all.

some stuff about sea otters that you may or not believe

while swimming (not on my back) i thought about me.

• i almost always delight in the misfortunes of others.
• i usually pretend to be listening to people, but i'm not. i hear j-lo does this as well. erg.
• when people don't do the things i expect them to do, i get very peeved.
• i'm really good at faking it.
• pretty men make my heart sing!
• i'm a very fast typer.
• i apologize way too much/i'm way too apologetic (same thing?)

OH MY GOD! the GMAT company just refunded my $250!!!!!!!!!

bringing my bank balance to $341.66.

AHHHHHHH!!!!