slogging through pliny the younger's letter of a laurentine villa. since it's so ambiguous and so lush that my mind drifts [it's like, 2 pages long]. keeping your convowindow open, you can see exactly how quickly and spacedly they signed off and on. won't say anything more about that shall i? but meanwhile, this is really difficult. i fall too asleep in this class. too mas sleep these days. housing arrangements in the works. awesome rehearsal with kevin yesterday. makes me think, 'oh yeah, shouldn't quit teaching piano this soon. shouldn't have quit playing piano this soon. life's a mess. damn'.

i think i feel best or just really good listening to music from when i was in 8th and 9th grade. the number 1996 just seems so fresh in that dated way. the 9s are kind of dark pinkish and the 6s are of course liks bluish (see nov 22 for claritas). 1996 and i think CTY t-shirts, my glasses, my walkman, my various idiocies and the music i used to listen to. let's see. bff underground was a big brainchanger...spacehog...last dance with mary jane, baby! or maybe it's just that i have a 5 year margin of happy nostalgia. in any case. mum sent me a big care package tonight, and i saved the part that she wrote the address on. her handwriting is so same from korean and english. i'll know i'm somewhere when my handwriting is serene like that. meanwhile what else? will and i planned to go to the dartmouth game [teehee, yup] tonight but his nucare duties were ridiculous so we met the people coming back as we were palestra-bound. and more housing scandals. jared p. scandals. ice skating. rob on the radio! oh the radio. just vivid days that when i'm 22 will seem kaleidoscopic [wooo] in how diffracted and colorful they were. oh damn. i just realized i missed pi. ook. going to go brosser et decontacter un peu. in the words of dj cox - "love love love". and maybe, maybe, more importantly, or more interestingly, "i do good work".
* * *
"shy...what a good word it's like the s is hiding behind the h and the y is all vulnerable [wow, it's so late]!" -adapted from conversation with won

news * * * what girls dig what boys dig * * * themselves * * * into * * * flash * * * this is histrionics.
girls dig:
prince william
big pretty eyes [ooh la la]
bitchiz for campus use

boys dig:
phoebe caulfield
someone to watch stars with
tea house girls
that hot asian girl on BET last night

any more suggestions? i am sorry for being an unreliable and hungry person. i will change slowly. i will be good, and good, and sail away, and no more red eye reduction. and no more chiding self. smile easier brighter more wrist.

my neck hurts from hunching over stat all hour. i say things like "yeah it's stat for math minors" and then i diff when i'm supposed to int. excerpt:
manoj: "i understand the numerators and the denominators."
bryan: "well, that's about all there is to it, isn't it?"
me: "there's that line in the middle..."
lately i've become quite comfy with the bitth persona it's just call and response. and i always have to go. but to delve deeper into the question of being alone and wanting to be alone - of course sometimes you just want to be alone with someone [?] this summer i can imagine myself in korea and rueing boohooing my a-status. i think i'd need to be planting rice not doing glamour shots. ideally miss hohenlohe, getting glamour shots of rice planting. anyway [brushing off] going to go teach music/piano tomorrow morning, wish me luck. and non-bitchiness. for a long time. just keep on wishing. :^)

my teeth hurt more and more every day! gums may be bleeding and wasting away to death and the special victims unit is helpless. YES i am washing my teeth. i don'tknow what to do anymore. i didn't sleep um yesterday so i'll do some of that. i cut lots of hair today. um what's even going ON!? ugh. whatEVER. i don't sleep ever. this is STUPID! and a testament to how dizzy i get. night! shyamalan! rrrowr! sensory deprivation ONE day just one day. because let's stop having the same adorable conversations about kids' names. eilonwy = [win a prize.] i get the feeling my brain is in the fertile crescent and right now that i'm wasting it. no mas no mas...

joanne has a crush on:

luis biava
kim's food truck
frothy romantic comedy
chronica (operation orgasm)
penn cheerleader
princeton band dork
syphilis lunchbox
crescent fresh
origamist
brown elvis
mr. boddy
walking wrinkle
nucare whore
creamy
aggressive
mr. bubble man
(i tried to be obnoxiously all-encompassing, but er cryptic enough to show i care. "love ya!")

quick- i'll become a good person! quick, quick, quick...all my love.

This is a special entry which utilizes the power of the capital letter. Think black-letter.
Songs: ("Honey, the kids are dead- hey!"). Cruel to be Kind. Rhosymedre. The Llama Song. Carry On. Independent Women.
Commonly Mis-interpretable Words: 'ejaculated'. 'wmmmsh'. 'hmoob'. 'rush' + 'ticket'. 'okay'.
Question Game: What four letter word is that funny? How often do you touch the back of your/my knee? Are you a muse of disaster? Are there inversions allowed? Aren't there? Do you have a hit record? Do you have a nickname?
Answer: I have [shout it out!]!
Cereal Names: Sweetened Granola Cereal with Raisins & Almonds No Frills.

[gentle chuckle] Make me grateful. Make it hurt. Play charades with it. Make it into a diorama. Market it as Kashi. Mythologize. Do the right thing. Choose life.
In the end, there are microeconomics and micro-microeconomics. :^) [Thaler]. I'm sorry for anyone I disappointed tonight. I'll make everything up to everyone! [fervent like Currer Bell.]

a rise in temperature and i'm floating in happiness. according to the nytimes, it's 60 degrees outside right now. "summer nights" even the thought makes me mentally shiver with yumminess. not nas-style :^) but also blustery wind, making the tentacled lights of trees at sansom common frond and sway. my thumb got pared to blood today as i tried to mange my way into a mango. that i bought at the most terrible supermarket ever. that we reached by highway. walking past some kind of asylums and bizarre testing grounds. adjacent to penn. it was an alternate universe today where the air was infused with warmth and we had no clue where things would become recognizable. "oh, this is where we are. whoa." yokumberry tonic. who knows. applying myself to money. and a wipe-off hydrating detox lotion. bought lemons to slice into my white linens which were subsequently pinked by that damn red t-shirt. names and faces are on a roulette to me right now, certains always up. 'an affront' - no one has the right to confuse me so much. no two or four have the right to confuse me. my pnc balance is like my inner ear.

fave school supplies
highlighter: schwann stabilo boss
pencil case: morning glory ________
comfy mechanical pencil: staedtler remedy
pen: pilot g3
eraser: clic-stic
calculator: HP 30c (oh so nice)

yeah baby! today i fell a-slip through a few classes but wide awake now. i interviewed uglily but nicely for SCUE (very not going to happen but nodding, smiling faces are a good habit to pick up) and then on the verge of academic demolition (the club, not the passive stance towards GPA) i was looking at papermag for luis and saw that shipping news was playing at upstage. long chain of onlinevents leads to me and vj heading to upstage, getting past the disinterested bouncer, sitting pretty with beers and soaking up the indierok. ching ching! it was very mmhm. relevant. we needed some "prep time" to handle that first band but shipping news was cute cute the keyboard boy looked like david bowie faking glenn gould. re-le-vant! i was remembering particular outfits i wear to shows like that. promise ring and that good 'math band' at bard i was cold. i remember that much. but money it flies with each e-vent. next time perhaps we'll be sponsored! v and i come up with ideas: string quartet jam session gigs. glam shots. brahms-a-ganza! we skip out on david grubbs and inevitably head to el diner, where service is just execrable. the fifth ring of the inferno lighting. polenta as a sidedish. top 40 hits. but we po' so we'll apply. like totallly micro-micro economics where individual effort counts! also a veritable hotspot for aryck connie manoj and matt. ivleague name game! tips? i'm buzzin :^) the words 'industrial size photocopier' seem to have come up just now. what about that. all quiet on the front.

i'm not bitter anymore i just wanted to share. "before you learn how to walk, you learn to rollerskate."


mignon i am angry.
thanks to paul for being a lost genius, paul's mum for the caramels, my mom for reknitting my scarf all greek mythology style. [bowing head. fade to black.]

the sticker fiasco of 2001. okay, now that it's duly noted i'll say "i knew this was going to happen" and rest my weary sticker-liver for awhile. but meanwhile i settle for this and that, where this = me and that = the little things i do. and will continue to do so until much further notice. as soon as a human thorn presents itself in my inquisitive palm, i ease it out and throw it away which is terrible. i should be whittling it or something. the presumption of topiary artists never really amazed me but i'll say it did anyway. my feet are turrible wet as is my mind, wet like bread gets wet. everyone knows what i mean when i say "i've been dazed for the last month, so i don't care that i've been dazed for the last month. but that might change soon". reading over my college applications (just in case you interest) in time for summerseason '01, i'm amazed at how "dewy wet" i sounded (and how much book is in my head today). jia-wei's going to kinko's. bye!

i have just come in from walking
the slushed paths of my school;
they were littered with the soft greying entrails of the snow,
which was still falling and drifting into my face.
what would you say about such a day? which of its aspects
would you bequeath me, clutched
and released onto my head.
your will, furnished
as it may be with such snowy scrawls.
the tenderness of the approach. the unceasing white.

i submitted my stickers! as many will tell you, i was intractable and misanthropic for that 2-day window of fran/etic sticker making. i said "shut up!" a lot and came back to the room every chance i got to tweak tweak twik. if you go to stickernation.net this weekend, maybe you will see them, actually they might've rejected the jam one b/c it used 3 tones instead of two. "foolish, foolish!" but the other one is a simulated piece of notebook paper that says "mr me + mrs you = forever". [big ol shrug]. meanwhile i'm doing things and talking about them.