just to get that other post off the page, and also it's so funny because women with hot flashes, that's like the most hilarious thing i can think of. but i'm sure it really sucks and is not at all like joan of arc receiving revelations from above.

god damn yo, this computer that i use at the internet cafe just does not want to let me use my webmail. erg. but i can still look up recipes (aha, everyone does want chicken and salmon recipes) and umm write this blog, what a sorry excuse for 1.8 euros. in any case, getting slippery and adroit with the french keyboard system. and today i bought bread with hazelnuts in it which went well with my smoked ham and some kind of cheese purchases. i call it, the best sandwich ever made. yay!! and this is the end of my second week here in beautiful and dog infested montpellier. and club infested. when we go out it is just like a serial continuation of our days in classes...the hilarity and skankiness of ILA rendered vibrant during afterhours. and the satisfaction or uncanny disappointments of knowing that my let's go france guide was largely accurate.

yes in france but with french keyboards and the inability to think properly in french or english much less sit down for a prolonged period of time and oh yes the creeping desire to learn german i think no blogging for a few weeks or months. ça va? right, i'm in france right now, and will be until le 7 janvier; today we went to the beach.

the last night. i should be burning CDs, or looking over things, but i just want to leave everything to the last minute. i feel like everything that's happened so far this summer, while possibly not 'for the best', made sense to me at the time. and what more can i ask myself for? just now i felt disappointed that people can't be all that i want them to be...that no matter what, there will always remain some part of people that is unknowable finally (that's definitely from some book i've read). and that was the most saddening thing for this summer. maybe one day i will find someone who i know inside and out...but for now i feel as though everyone has the potential to give unpleasant surprises. and maybe i can't ask them for anything more, either. but i've let everything else in my life go on so falsely and so poorly for such a long time. who knows...what a feeling to leave the country with. the feeling of leaving everything behind.

5:31wake up to watch alarm
5:31turn off alarm clock
5:39survey status of room and luggage
6:07throw luggage down 2 flights of stairs
6:20 - 7:12metromishaps of all varieties
7:12 - 7:38realize i have no bus fare and start talking to marine biologist
8:20ish get off bus, incur all sorts of debts to marine biologist, who can't stay for juice because we're late
8:40incur very real $45 fee for my 13lb overweight luggage and also leave shoes at the ticket counter, in a plastic bag
8:47get through security and get iced chai latte and banana nut muffin
8:50the lady at check in tells me about my having left the shoes at the ticket counter
8:55shoes are duly delivered, and i'm frisked to get on the plane
9:05-10:15amazingly clear skies, aerial views of philadelphia and manhattan, and land in albany
11:00-4:25drop off collar-raised dad at golf, wait for chris while prancing around saratoga, buying beads and bags and new summer wardrobe for the 13th seat violist in the family. and eating yummy tings
4:30-5:50pastarific dinner
6:00retrieve 2/3 belle and sebastian cds from my brother's clutches
8:30get to poughkeepsie despite crazycruisecontrol
8:43e-mail blackmail
10:00we make a $150 pledge to channel 13 during the simon and garfunkel concert broadcast
10:12finish my mostly green bead necklace
diner fin

last day at kiplinger's! raphael saadiq - faithful: such a syrupy, smack yo ass kinda song. probably the only thing that will make me bop my head at 10 am. and...the lord of the rings tonight? maybe. laundry, packing, giving the contacts a good wash, a cyclical life (3/5), sex in the city? yes.

oh man. teehee...hanseul just called me on the fact that even months ago, i knew that i'd want to be in cincinnati (or was it cleveland) now, instead of dc, sitting on my ass in an office with my headphones on. because i have nothing to do today on my penultimate day working here. and won't have anything to do tomorrow. after all the drama i've been through, here, then, i now know that i could in fact have just left town last friday. oh bitter life! i'll just print out recipes, read people's siblings' profiles, steal good pens, and check the wmata website to see how easily i can get from the apartment to BWI with a shuffling step and bursting luggage. and fix my archives. all months should be up now.

harrumph and something just made me furious. only one person will know what i'm talking about, i promise. ouch ouch ouch...my already lifeless heart is bounding off of hot coals.

also hmm. hanseul and i went dc-crazy this weekend, going to the national gallery (and cascade cafe! i wasn't dreaming) then the hirshhorn again, and then watched waking life. like watching the shipping news (oh yes and i mean the band, not the movie) or whoever it was, with veronica, some things need to be experienced under an influence and with lots of friends and your best haircut. and popcorn? but anyway, then we went to the black cat on the spur of the moment. me, hopeful, after having missed the last two saturdays (really should have gone w/ rob last weekend!) and pestering hanseul with my querulous apologies.

anyway, getting ho'ed up is the best! and riding the metro all ho'ed up is also the best. at the door, she and her NYS license somehow passed muster for her to get stamped as over 21, while i got branded with big permanent black marker x's...we walked through the de rigueur crowd to the back of the club and stepped into the dance party which was just...a room with a bar and one boy dancing. it heated up eventually in both ways and so we awkwardly danced to the great wag music until it was time to shag ass to the metro. yesterday we went to old town, great ice cream and tapas, and finally i bought something for my host mother which is ultra...blah. but fine.

random links which i'm putting here, because i get the feeling that telnet use is frowned upon...
cross-atlantic report especially
for my newest cake endeavors
america's not an option

oh it's so sad and so true! since my junior year i've been on AIM, waiting constantly for someone to come online...who?

the adventures of baron munchausen, the man of la mancha score, carrot cake in my mouth and sunscreen lotion in my hands...

this morning (an hour ago) as i was walking to work, some air-conditioning contractor's truck drove by, blasting some piano concerto. ahh. yesterday night alex made burritos and i made a cherry yogurt cake! the wonders of cake mix. no rainbow chip frosting alas...

just ate poptarts (strawberry! frosted!) for the first time in a long time. there were no other acceptable sweets in the vending machine. i know i'll regret this in oh, 25 minutes. SCORE~!!