the ebb and flow of others

i think that's the last part of independence day, which is one of my most often read books (aka not any more one of my favorite books. alas.) um. so i'm so impressionable. yesterday i worked at the bookstore of seoul selection and it was great! so now i'm all "go seoul selection" again. god. also yesterday a bunch of the fulbrighters met up at one of the US foreign service officers' houses for a nice dinner and chatting to ppl about the foreign service, which is probably not what i'm interested in doing but since i did my 8th grade career project on it i felt like it was a good opportunity, plus there were hamburgers, people speaking english, and actually it was very eye-opening to see that ppl in the foreign service are not like hardcore lifers but they come from a variety of backgrounds, etc. so you know. argh.

sometimes i think i'm going insane. or like, just that i have kind of significant ADD. and i wonder if i should be on medication. but then i'm like, being on drugs would really suck on so many levels. so no. but i feel like it detracts from me being successful sometimes. i need to get serious and focused about things, but it's hard.

slow death

it's good to be reminded once in awhile that having a crappy job can drain the joy out of life. today, believe it or not, i am skipping out of work early to get a wisdom tooth extracted and i am so excited about that.

so i'm working at a magazine and i have nothing to do. just the opposite of when i worked at a different magazine and i had TONS OF shitty work to do. so that good thing to remember about this is: i have bad magazine karma. i'll stick to reading them obsessively, not working at them. there! one potential career path safely scratched out.

sad other things that have been happening: my host family turning strangely cold (maybe not strangely? maybe not cold?) which makes me extremely wary of going back to jeonju. 1/3 of my signing bonus check being taken out for taxes. gaining so much weight over break that my marc jacobs jeans don't fit anymore. still not knowing whether NJ or NY is a better place to live. realizing that some of the "best" photos i've taken with my new digital camera are actually, really out of focus.

but i'm going to thailand and cambodia next week! YAY!

mr. monkey

here i am sitting in the office of seoul magazine as the intern/resident native speaker/thesaurus/marketing strategist. it's my 2nd day here and my 3rd day in korea. after some highly ridiculous confusion about where i was going to stay (thanks mom) i've settled into my dad's sister's house in seoul. and slowly the frame backpack that was filled with nothing but presents for relatives is emptying out. now that i think about it, it might have been instructive to live in my mom's sister's house in gunpo, as it would have helped me understand the joys of a 2 hour commute. potentially useful because i am working for ZS next year and now i have to decide where to live, etc etc...new york anyone?

being at home was great. i just feel so comfortable there and as though i can be good at things (especially talking to people and listening to people). it was so much fun to see everyone and their apartments in ny and philly, watch the OC, watch project runway, go shopping...i didn't really do any of the things i was "supposed" to do but it was totally just what i needed. i definitely did regret a little bit having to come back here. and i still do, especially in light of all this jet lagged grogginess i'm feeling (i guess during orientation i didn't have time to be jet lagged?) anyway. seoul is fabulous, i'm armed with a new digital camera, and we'll see how much fun i can have until i start teaching again.