okay, i just remembered who it is that grace hates (will and grace, grace) - teri hatcher. well, i hate laura san giacomo. i'm not sure if it's for the same reasons, but...grrr!!!

well, yes. today i have done nothing again at work, but in a more productive way than of the very recent yore. well-targeted web browsing in conjunction with a lunch on the roof and a 3:30 borders break helped to aerate the monotony a little bit, but i still sit braindead in front of my computer 7 hours a day. downloading recipes. getting metro directions to target. using the pennintouch worksheet. oh, this dilbert archipelago i find myself in...well, it's nothing unique, i'm sure. but what i shudder to think is that i did this at SCHOOL too. without getting paid. and i thought that i was having fun!

i also got a job working at a japanese restaurant called hibachi brothers, on upperish wisconsin avenue, right by the tenleytown stop. at least when i come home in the evenings, it will be once again enveloped in the aura of a stickysweet smell of meat and heat...

a japanese restaurant retrospective
5/20/2001 12:08:33 AM
i hear all sorts of things, or have for the last four days whilst slaving at ho'sho. "you have to discipline the kids". that's not really funny, but okay. i say stuff like "we have a merlot", "sure thing!" and um like "ah, liquid dessert" [sake anyone?...doh] exhaustion. pain. fake smile. i have like soy sauce henna on my arms. but at the end of the night the parking lot air smells so xylem-y sweet, and i'm not working 12 hours tomorrow. and i'm not getting sexually harassed on a sunday, which is the most i can do for the big S.E. the first time i cut my hair it was 15% to stop all unwanted thai chef attax. that was two years ago.

1/1/2001 2:33:02 AM
su-per cres-cent fresh! why do i love working so much? 'manual labor' 'service industry' 'new york state's finest champagne' woo. and yes on new year's (eve). consider for instance that i am the asian countess de hohenlohe and that the song 'yellow' was dedicated to me...whoa. anyway so aside from any obvious reasons, and the other reasons which are less cheeky more lippy, it's because it frees me from the impatience which turned me from a neat to a messy. and that is why i made myself a nicens dinner at 2 o' clock tonight and why i will clean my contacts before retiring. teriyaki sauce marinating the right hand and all you can do is wait. smile, smile, smile. or don't, but look intense, hot, spicy, recalcitrant, repentant, hungry, cinderella. a certain kind of posse which frequents o'sho. if i were being rill tiresome and nonfrenchical i'd say like 'nouveaux biches', i'm just feeling tiresome so i'll just have mentioned it. but yes, this specific kind of 'hot' woman. and some men. some hand me their soup bowls, some don't. whatever, i'm soooooo tired. soft kisses. of the 'hot' women and their men. fifteen bucks on the side for quick soup'n'salad retrieval. super cres.

7/30/2000 12:38:30 AM
the zen derived peculiarly from bussing a ZILLION tables at o'sho restaurant (located on south road in poughkeepsie)

the supreme tunnel vision of seeing only plates awash in butter grease, glasses hollowed and perishing under lipstick stains and ravaged ice cubes, as your pores become brimfilled with smoke

occasionally a thought nudges its way into some prominence. a rhyme. a ditty. a philosophy on life. you swat it away 'with the easiness'. if the ditty is really flavorful you mouth the words as you bus bus bus bus bus.

driving back home with your dress between your legs, your car smelling like strawberry auto fragrance for the first time in its blushing adolescence, route 9 lit by orderly ranks of streetlights

you can really see how over the past two years, i've grown less intelligent - or - less successfully lyrical:pretentious. i just tells it like i sees it, now...

maybe the second earliest to work today. have to buy a bus pass, because otherwise i will always have to be producing dimes from the back of my ear and ... that won't work for even once, so yes. plus, unlimited transportation encourages exploration! colonization! cultural imperialism of joanne! exactly what i need to be doing instead of shrinking into a small prune-like intern. eating a grapefruit, also.

teehee, simply TOO much stuff has been happening at home, so no entries, sorry. later today i'm leaving for DC, to work at kiplinger's personal finance(?) magazine. wif ma headfones on. phew ... so let me know if you want my contact information. or i'll send it to you anyway, because i'm a dreadfully lonely person. suggestions on reading and listening material will also be appreciated (from very specific people of course). well, i'm off! everyone enjoy their summers and my edwardian tone!

• "now she's gone, love burns inside me"


• "it's gettin hot in here/so take off all your clothes/
  i am gettin so hot and i'm gonna take my clothes off(?)"

shazaam! the jedi mind trick style of hip hop. sliiide left. sliiide right.

i think that i need to learn some lessons. and what better way to do that but by making mistakes? even so ... something i wanted to do tonight but couldn't do. and shouldn't have. just one temptation. probably the last one. the week's going to be a lot more 'fun' w/ andrew and co.!...

ouch...lactic acid buildup in knees. my growing pains. as anyone who knows me well can attest, i lost my winter coats at penn. how? i know not. it is a complete mystery to me. just another loss in a string which was first spun in kindergarten, when i lost my pink raincoat in a cubby. is it because i am an ethereal and scatterbrained sprite? no. i am just irresponsible. possibly the only benefit from losing raincoat, waterbottles, palm pilot, winter coats, bag, wallet, etc etc...is an almost zenlike unconcern for all material goods.

except when i am shopping, which is what connie and i did today. how can anyone control themselves when there are so many beautiful objects in the world?!? alas. today i bought birkenstocky ("watt bequem") sandals and a lil miss hottentot buttondown shirt. and now, my knees hurt as in the days that i was still growing. because i went crazy on my elliptical trainer. for those of you that were wondering from the very beginning. YEAH!

come back from new york with incredibly painful feet and sit down to pennintouch with molten/leaden heart. because my grades suck, just like they always have. re: everything i want to be...i'm not a good student/daughter/friend/girlfriend/passerby. maybe i need to be lonely for a long time. someday, according to popular belief, i'll look back and dismiss probably 75% of my college life with an airy tralala. but i'd rather not have to dismiss anything at all if that is possible. because it's so late and i can't stand myself for never trying hard. and for putting myself in situations where i can't try hard. because i don't care. but i should. and i will.

this is what i ate today:
bagel w/ c.c.
chicken burrito and salad
espresso shake
smoothie
something else, which i can't remember.

cheers to anand's directorial debut! and me being an idiot, and PURCHASING a bouquet of lilacs. oh city folk :^P [green acres theme]...

signs that someone's trying to tell me something (compiled over last few days)

• YM quiz about whether you are a leader...or a follower.


• watching real world chicago, where what'shername tells aneesa that she can be a little 'slow'


• spiderman. good movie!! i'm sure his dilemmas are applicable to my life (regents critical lens, anyone?!)


• oh yeah, and the fucking FOUNTAINHEAD. peter keating v. howard roark and who am i etc. god, how annoying my life is!


• AND various articles in nylon that are all about people creating things re: art, and leisure, and beauty...


• someone's away message which had to do with being decisive. and how that will chaaange your life.


• piece de resistance was watching gilmore girls and that 80s show tonite where incredibly cute asian actors romped and played and after ALL of this, i knew that i want to be an...

actress/designer/writer/artist/interior designer/journalist...oh sadness. and "oh god damn."

can you tell, i'm still fat and unpacked, there's a HUGE pile of my clothes on the floor from laundry. i got a B in mktg 396. just existing makes me feel lazy and nonplussed. supposedly the key is, or will be, not to be intimidated. and to do noble gracious amazing things slowly in no real order.

i'm going to write an overblown, underinteresting lot, because recently i am obsessed with the quotidian quidditas :^P of course not, my life is just boring in a very detail-oriented way! i'm home in poughkeepsie now, and since my school computer is being kind of crankycrazy, i'm in the computer room, watching metro ny (christina ha needs just a lil more charisma, ahem). i might go to new york tomorrow, which inevitably means that no such trip to new york will occur.

the proctor and gamble people e-mailed me for their summer camp in marketing, but i'd have to take another week off of my internship, so i'm a little hesitant. at the same time, i know i'm going to want to get out of DC (and into cincinnati?!) and of course i jump at anything which could possibly mean ... knowing what a life in marketing would entail. or networking. or whatever.

speaking of my internship, i picked up a copy of kiplinger today and it's much prettier and friendly than i thought, though maybe not 1. hustler or 2. kissinger, as connie thought. "i know what it is!!" no one is in poughkepsie, but we now have mtv 2 which means that i am being completely lazy (currently lauryn hill unplugged). i've read 1/2 of the laura ingalls wilder series for the 45th time, and watched stuart little and bits of notting hill. i have SO not packed, but today i took out marigold to the supermarket to buy shampoo (one of my major quandaries recently = that most shampoos contain sulfates, which are lathering agents, which strip your hair. which sounds so bad. not that it probably makes any difference in my life, but armed with this knowledge i feel entitled to a sulfate-free shampoo. all the same i bought herbal essences fruit fusions hydrating shampoo and pray for the best. at home we have a wildberry conditioner which really works even though ... okay i don't give a fuck about my hair. i might cut my bangs tomorrow, though).

and as i was looking through my study abroad stuff (the reason for a possible trip to ny is to get a student visa for france) i was extremely irritated because my advisor had written instructions for filling out the forms in french. firstly, her french is not that good. secondly, if we don't know what to do, we're screwed anyway, so er? thirdly, god, i can't read french, why are you putting us through this annoyance?

i also bought a copy of nylon (what a stupid thing to link, sorry) but it really is comfy and good to read and all DIY...i don't mind that!

not that late, but feel like i ought to sleep 'so i can pack tomorrow'. hmmm...chris is asleep in lisa/rachel's room w/ my comforter :^P stuff is in that unpacked disarray state, i ate today:

houston hall pasta (basta!)
popeyes 2 strip snack
diet coke
sherbet

tonight was the belle and sebastian show, it felt really homey and pretentious, but the band members were honestly really nice-seeming and cute. and so many! though i'm confused as to how we missed the opening band completely, coming only 40 minutes late...maybe i'm wrong. but. i bought a t-shirt, which looks pretty grotty now that i REALLY look at it. maybe i'll sneak into the ny/dc(!) show and be all like "oh...i just bought this...can i?..." on an escapade :^D

david...together forever.

today's menu:

egg and cheese on muffin
two bananas
one orange
one bagel w/ cream cheese
a little oatmeal
italian sausage sandwich
tossed salad w/ creamy italian dressing
raspberry iced tea
various snack remnants from the dean/deluca barrage of '02

now am packing and very done with accounting although i still have to pick up my study grant check, get my care package from williams (maybe not)..., finish printmaking edition prints, go to OIP and clean up, and wonder about the state of a sophomore year. and finish the packing.

gross, what have i eaten today:

2 dark choco espresso beans
5 handfuls nut and fruit mix
4 peanutbutter cuppy things
1 bowl of bulgogi and noodles and veggies
1 veggie and cheese sandwich
2 honey PB cookies
1 poppyseed muffin
1 pear
1 apple.

although all the days do tend to blur together so maybe the fruit was yesterday. also peripherally i applied for the montpellier program, figured out chris' travel plans for friday and the show, potentially scalped my tickets, remembered who yukio mishima was, didn't watch serendipity, kept scraping wax back into candle holders, felt fat and slightly nauseous as per usual, tried to drink lots of water so i don't wake up dry mouthed as per usual (possibly related events?), left to study acct w/o a calculator.